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Sorry..need to vent.. Chronic Pain sufferers I'm sure You can relate!

Started by Malli on 06/15/2010 2:39pm

So.....I have chronic pain.

I am not faking or trying to abuse the system or trying to get drugs. I have pain...real pain.

I'm 44 yrs old and prior to a motor vehicle accident 8 yrs ago I was a fitness consultant, exercised every day, was perfectly strong and fit, (did not smoke, use drugs, had the odd glass of wine), not a pain in the world.

Now...I have intermittent pain shooting down my arms and severe headaches in the back of my head that radiate to my forehead, and a constant burning, twisting the nerves kind of feeling in the back of my head and neck. Sometimes it feels like I have a strap running over the top of my head ear to ear.

I was sent for an MRI, the results came back as: Advanced DDD with moderate central canal stenosis with a dessicated L4-L5, L5- S1. I also have had a lot of problems with my neck over the years. My most recent MRI revealed the following: Degenerative changes of the ADI are evident, straightening of lordosis. Dessication of C3-C4 intevertebral disc. Annular bulging and broad based posterior disc protrusion of the C3-C4 disc with posterolateral marginal osteophyte demonstrated. Bulging of C4-C5, C5-C6, C6-C7 intevertebral discs identified There is facet and uncovertebral joint hypertrophy at multiple levels and osseous encroachment on multiple neural foramina bilaterally as described. Prominent neural foraminal encroachment upon C3-C7 bilaterally.

On another post I asked: My questions are how is it possible for someone so young, who was so fit, to have so much degeneration?

and the reply was: From the research that I have done and stories I've read from others, the only commonality is that we are very active, hard working people that just hit an unlucky patch in life. The prognosis: you will most likely not be able to do work that you did previously - no lifting over 20 pounds, no repetitive type jobs (including secretarial or administrative work unless you can find a job that allows you to take frequent breaks), and no high impact excercise.

I'm currently in a rehab program that my long term disability insurance provider is sending me to. According to them I am fit to work and to return to my previous type of employment which is secretarial work, and get this I used to clean the offices (vacuum, clean 4 flights of stairs, etc) at the same law firm for extra $$$ and the insurance company says I can return to that as well but modified duties. My physiotherapist says my pain is all in my head and that my negative thoughts are creating my pain so I have to change my thought if I think more positively my pain will go away. He gave me a form to fill out daily describing a time when I had a significant pain experience, what I had to stop doing because of it, write down my negative thoughts; what I was thinking, what I did about it and what I could have done differently.

So it goes like this,
pain exp: sitting at the computer trying to post a msg, my neck is on fire, there is a corkscrew in the back of my head twisting, grinding the nerves, my head feels like it's going to explode, eyes hurt, feels like someone poured sand in my eyes, my latest Botox injections (for neck pain and migraines) were put in to low and I have a hard time opening my eyes because my forehead is paralyzed and no matter how hard I try I can't raise my eyebrows to take the weight off my eyeballs, my back feels like it's going to break, my leg is numb...I have to type this out as fast as I can so I can go lay down.

What I did: stopped typing, got up from sitting tried to stretch, cried, went to lay down.

My thoughts: the pain I don't think about it, it's just there, it is what it is. I want to lay down to get this pressure off my neck. Writing this down is frikin stupid (well this is negative..but seriously), I do not have negative thoughts about the pain. I try to deal with the pain by not thinking about it...this is making me think about it...I am not going to write down negative thoughts because that is what you (the therapist) says I have and want to read.

Sure sometimes I feel sorry for myself, I think it is completely normal, for all of us suffer in pain every day, and lost a part of ourselves, the healthy active pain free part, and for some of us a lot of other things that go with chronic pain, divorce, financial issues, sexual health problems, etc.. to feel sorry for ourselves once in a while. It doesn't mean I dwell on it.

So you, Mr. Know It All physiotherapist who says he is there to help me (and doesn't just work for the insurance company...ha... and provide them with the result that they want, double ha), and without even having my MRI's goes ahead and designs my strengthening/rehab program without even knowing what is wrong with me tell me that I'm in pain because I'm just weak and not trying and my pain is in my head....well F*%^ You....

Seriously..are you kidding me. Let's give you a spinal problem. You try being in pain from the moment you wake in the morning and get out of bed (if you can even get out of bed), until you go to bed at night, all day every day.

You try to deal with it day in and day out and after you go through it.... then, and only then, you can tell me my pain is all in my head!

What I have done for the pain so far: I have tried physio, acupuncture, acupressure, traction, nerve block injection c-spine, cortisone inj L-spine, IMS, Biofeedback, relaxation training, meditation, muscle relaxants, antidepressants, narcotic pain killers (helps), Botox( this one works) to name a few, most have not helped, it is a reality, and I still have pain.

So when my physiotherapist asks me, what I could have done differently excuse me if I find this question ridiculous to the Nth degree.

What I could have done differently: I don't know????

Get away from you.
Chop my head off
Get away from you
Botox my whole body
Get away from you!
Or...
How about this ....Treat me like a human being...Have some compassion....
and the kicker......Be innocent until proven guilty!

Thanks for listening...I'm going to go run around the block now!

Mali

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Karla sounds like u have spasms. Just ask ur dr for valuim or Xanax. If je is giving u oxy he shouldn't have a prob with it. Communication is the key. Just tell him u'd like to try it. If it helps great. If it doesn't then u know and don't have to take it.

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Karla sounds like u have spasms. Just ask ur dr for valuim or Xanax. If je is giving u oxy he shouldn't have a prob with it. Communication is the key. Just tell him u'd like to try it. If it helps great. If it doesn't then u know and don't have to take it.

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Malli u r awesome!
Bec j winckler : )

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Hello all i also have not been on for awhile.. I am having my surgery on Sep 20th. I am hopeing this one helps because everyday i wake up with more pain then the day before i use to only have to take my pain meds like every 2 days or something like that but now i am taking them every day and i am taking them 3x a day i am on vicoden 10/325 and i take 2 at a time and i am like clock work every four hours i am taking my pills wich i HATE TAKEING.. I just hopes this work cause i have been in pain for almost @ years and i do not no how much more i can take.. I am tired of people thinking o whats wrong with her now.. I also work full time and go to school.. i have also hurt my arm at work and have elbo tindnidess or how ever you spell it.. So now when that hurt it also makes my arm and shoulder act up.. So yeah i hate all this and i am tired of having to take pills that really dont do much but dull the pain.. And every one saying o you are a walking pharmiest well you no what walk a day in my shoes on my worst day then lets talk.. I dont want the pain i have told people if you want it you can have it.. I am so tired of playing the tough guy and them when i am alone just crying so know on see my true pain.. but you can only do that for so long before you break down and just want to give up...Everyone always say GOD HAS A PLAIN FOR YOU.. Well you no what I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS BECAUSE THIS IS NOT TEAACHING ME ANYTHING BUT HATE.. Good luck to all and i whish the best for every one..

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MALLI, BET IT FELT GOOD TO GET ALL THAT OFF YOUR CHEST. GOOD FOR YOU. I HAD AN ORTHO DOCTOR A FEW YRS AGO, THAT "MADE" ME READ, "THE PAIN AND THOUGHT CONNECTION." (SOMETHING CLOSE TO THAT TITLE) OR SHE WOULD NOT TREAT ME. I WENT TO SEE HER 3 TIMES, AND THEN LEFT. HOW DOES A DOCTOR NOT KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE IN CHRONIC PAIN? ALL IN MY HEAD? WHAT? NOW I'M SEVERELY DEPRESSED, HAD FUSION SURGERY, 6 MONTHS AGO, AND THE PAIN IS NOW RETURNING. MY PSYCHIATRIST, ASKED ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO APPLY FOR SOC SEC DISABILITY. AFTER ALMOST A YEAR I FINALLY DID. WITHIN 8 WEEKS I STARTED TO GET CHECKS. I KNOW THIS IS UNUSUAL AND GOD MUST HAVE BEEN LOOKING DOWN AT ME, AT THE TIME. I'D LOVE TO WORK AGAIN, I MISS PEOPLE, NOT TO MENTION THE MONEY. (SSD IS 1/4 OF MY MONTHLY WORKING PAYCHECK) HAD TO SELL MY HOUSE, PAWN EVERYTHING OF VALUE ETC. YEAH IT'S ALL IN OUR HEADS.

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LOL yip it did , help to get all that off my chest...now I have nothing to say..lol. Sometimes I think I'm psychotic. No just kidding, or am I ?

I'm home today (ha) # 1) because my Botox is wearing off and I can't turn my head # 2) because it's raining out and my bones have seized up and I feel so fantastic that I thought I would just lie (lie, lay, which word is it? I don't know my brain is pickled!) around on the couch all day ; )

Jwinck/Bec... Luv U 2..U crack me up :~)

Volks12 - I'm so sorry you are having such hard time, I wish I could help. If you were next door I would come over and give you a hug.

Do you have someone you can talk to? Do they offer counseling at school? When I was in school there was a program for students with disabilities. The program offered assistance while at school, such as a peer note taker (someone to take your notes for you), an adjustable chair, longer time to write exams so you can get up and walk around, take breaks, use of a tape-recorder to tape lectures. Can you get a student loan so you don't have to work so much?

I know it's hard but hang in there..don't listen to all the criticisms, like u r a walking pharmacist. These people don't know shit...ignore them. I know where you are coming from I hate my pills, I look like a bloated warthog when I take them, but I take 'em like clockwork too. So what.. we have PAIN, that is what we are supposed to do, that is what painkillers are for, to KILL PAIN... DO NOT feel guilty about it. You have to find the right type of pain killer that works for you, this isn't always easy either but try talking with your Dr.

Someone once suggested to me, "instead of hiding it maybe you could try letting people see you are in pain and they might try to understand" Sometimes when we hide our pain people treat us like there is nothing wrong because they do not know otherwise. . I cry when I'm alone, I'll bet we all do, sometimes life sucks and you have to let it all out! Don't be scared to be vulnerable in front of people, believe it or not there are people out there that have compassion for their fellow human beings!

I hope you find some solace somewhere. Just know that the people here do understand what you are going through and feel for you. Hope your surgery works out!

As far as the so called plan that GOD has for us? Well.. I 'm not quite sure what that is either and I don't want to even go there? Seriously...I am not a religious person (spiritual, yes, but that is different) and I do not want to offend anyone who is, however, that kind of talk doesn't work for all of us.

CandyK - I know how you feel, I miss it all too, The people and the $$$, I'll be putting my condo on the market any day now. I'm pretty high maintenance but you would never know it to look at me now !

Pedicure? What language is that you speak? ; )

Take Care All
Luv Mali

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Malli Thanks i do get extra time for test but it just seems like my teacher is get aggrvaited with me and she always talks down to me.. My surgery went ok beside the allgeric reaction i had to the pain meds it was not a good thing the pain seems to be better but it is still to soon to tell. Tom i go back to school for the first time since my surgery so we will see how that goes i have been doing must of my work online so i am not to far behind i just have to make up my labs.. i am going for surh tech so it is kinda cool to know what insturments that they use on you when they do the surgery.. and the doc saved my old plate i had in my neck and gave it to me thats pretty cool.. I am just hoping for the best that this time it works and i will be pain free but i am also scared that it will not work so we will just have to see.. Thanks for you wounderful words and i wish the best for you also..

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My first post on here, but I fit right in with the rest of you! I won't go into my entire story, but have lived with chronic pain, and all that goes with it for many years. High powered meds that just allow me to get through my day help, but I hate taking them. We all need to be our own advocates. If a doctor tells you the pain is all in your head, you need to "head" out the door! The mind is a powerful thing and I know when I am able to try being positive, it helps, but there are many 'crisis pain' days that make doing even that small thing impossible. That is when I just tell myself to get through the next 30 minutes (or the next 5) and keep on going. Knowing we are NOT alone is one of the greatest helps for me. If I thought I was the ONLY person feeling like this, I would crawl into bed and never bother getting back up. To all here, you have my compassion, my understanding, and my sympathy.

By the way, just wanted to add this because I saw it mentioned a couple times and didn't see anyone correct it. If someone did, my apologies. Arachnoiditis CAN BE and IS diagnosed with an contrasted MRI. Do not let a doc tell you otherwise - if they do, they are not worth the paper their degree is printed on and you need to find another one. I speak from experience on this.

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First of all, I feel your pain! I have been there and done that! Don't wait until you cannot walk before you do something about your situation. The US is way behind Europe in this technology. The price for a double disc replacement (hospital included) about $28,000. American spend more money on their automobiles!

What ever you do, do not get a fusion!

I am an American living in Doha, Qatar. Thankfully I have international insurance. I recommend to any and all of you to have your records evaluated by Dr. Willem Zeegers in Germany. His website ishttp://www.medkiozk.com/
You can also find him on facebook.

Dr. Zeegers and Dr. Hoogland were the founders of the Artificial Disc Replacement (ADR). Dr. Hoogland is retired and has gone back to University teaching.

I am 2-1/2 weeks post op of a two level disc replacement L4/5 and L5/S1. I feel great! I'm just waiting for the stitches to heal.

If you have any specific questions, please ask away!

Pam
C4/5 Disc Replacement 2007 by Dr. Zeegers
L4/5 and L5/S1 Replacement 2010 by Dr. Zeegers

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From one Pam to Another:

Why do you say do not get a fusion? I'm curious, as I have three bad discs and have had only one consultation with an orthopedic surgeon who is hesitant to do surgery. i'm going to get another opinion from a neurosurgeon. I am in such much pain and can barely walk. My Deg. Disc Disease is because of radiation I had following removal of a tumor in 1988.

I'm glad you're feeling better!

Pam

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Mali,

I just had a 2 level ADR. ADR is a better option because it does not constrict any level of your spine. It gives you the same movement that a "normal" disc would give you. I also have a ADR at level C3/4 and you would never know that I have an artificial disc in my neck. I have full range of motion.

A fusion is final, they can not do anything else for that part of your spine. It will restrict movement, and more than likely lead to more fusions later on.

A fusion is done from the rear and an ADR is done anterior. Your back muscles are never touched. If you have a failed ADR (rare) then you have a second chance. You can try a different type of ADR. There are several brands of ADRs on the market.

The most important thing is to choose your surgeon carefully. The most experienced hands you have the better chance for a positive outcome. There are doctors in the US that are doing ADR. Dr. Filler in California is an excellent surgeon, but he is still learning and I am sure he has a waiting list! Here is his website: http://www.nervemed.com/about/dr-aaron-g-filler-md-phd

I hope that this will convince you that fusion is very, very old school. Don't do fusion unless it is your last alternative.

Oh yeah, any lunatic that tells you that your pain is just in your head, tells you that they got a degree either on the internet or in Nigeria. I had a doctor tell me that recently and I reported him to the Qatari government.

I'm not ready for running around the block yet, but maybe in a month or so. :)

Pam

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I was a truck driver for 18 years and in 06 my spine crumbled at C6,7 causing me to lose the use of my left arm, at that moment I was driving up I 55 headed to St. Louis. I got back eventually and head anterior cervical fusion to fix the problem. I have a hereditary condition that causes degenerative discs. I didn't know this at the time and have been learning the hard way. I would suggest trying an orthopedic surgeon to see what they can do because insurance companies are thieves and don't care about you at all. My spine has gone from bad to worse in 4 years and now my lumbar is going bad. I take 5 percocets a day and 3 Soma for the pain and there is talk of Oxycontin which I would rather not try, a monkey on my back is one thing but thats a gorilla. Don't give up just get to a good ortho surgeon. I will pray for you.

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Hi Mali -

I'm a firm believer in venting when necessary. I've thankfully been allowed to vent to co workers as well as a couple friends I have.

The comment "its all in your head" is one of those most infuriating things I think any of us can hear. I too was told "its really not that bad" or "I think you're making more out of this..." Just once I would like one of them to have this pain for a month and see how they feel physically, mentally and emotionally. I've dealt with my neck for over a year,..blew two discs in the c-spine and now am scheduled for surgery in 6 weeks. I've had to dig way down deep to get through the last 13 months since the injury and even had to retain a lawyer when the work comp insurance denied my having surgery. I won the case hands down.

All the MRI's CT's even xrays showed the problem, two rounds of PT and enpidural injections did nothing to relieve the pain, and now I have worse symptoms, numbness, never pain, muscel spasms/cramps from my neck down to my hands, loss of control and strength in my hands an arms, headaches, even my upper back and around to the front of my chest is getting involved in the pain and spasms.

I say get a second opinion not only from the medical dr, but find yourself an independent therapist too. And the next person that says "its all in your head" ... well, I probably shouldnt say that out loud LOL but I think you get what I'm saying.

Best wishes.

Jenn

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I am 3 months out from my last neck fusion and i have to say it is not looking good i still have not have had a pain free day yet and i have started back to work like 5 days ago and that is not going so good.. Saw the Doc today and was crying and telling him that i am tired of being in pain all the tie and he said that it has only been 3 months so we can not expacted alot well this how it started after the first fusion i had bit this time the pain is worse and he told me to keep my chin up and think positive i told him i have been but you can only do that for so long when other people have no idea what you are going through and how you feel and he goes if it makes you feel better i no how you feel and i told him that he does not live with me or work with me so it really does not help.. I just want to be normal agine i am getting so tired of hurtting all the time and have to take pills just to try and feel some what better the pills only make the pain go away a little bit and when you do the work i do it does not help at all I am a CNA at a nursing home and it is not the easyiest job i no i have said this befor but i just dont no what to do or think any more i just want to be pain free for once.. it has been almost 2 years that i have been leaving with this and it not fun at all.. Dont no what i did to deserve this pain and on top of that haveing people think that i am makeing this up....

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@ volks - I am so sorry to hear this. And the people that think this stuff is made up are in the same family as those that think the pain is in our heads ... well, actually I do have a lot of headaches, however, its the injury in my case causing the pain.

One CT scan, xrays and two MRI's don't lie. I could tell people all days long and twice on Sundays that I'm in pain, but the diagnostics show the issue, nor do the uncontrolable muscle spasms and cramps that people can literally see tell a lie. I know there are people out there that do seek drugs or seek to "get paid" by a workman's comp insurace company...yet I don't think those people are taking the time to learn more about the problems and remedies for neck and back pain. surgeries etc. It's been clear to me, the people that post on this site are honestly looking for answers to real medical problems and/or trying to help others because they have been through what the rest of us are experiencing.

Why did they have to go back in for another surgery, and what did they do differently on the second surgery? Was there something they could have done the first time to avoid having to have surgery #2 ? Also, was it the same doctor that did both surgeries?

I hope you get some relief soon, I think all of us here understand the pain (physical and emotional) along with frustration.

Jenn

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mali, my answers are checked.......but i know how you feel

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@ Jenn45 yes it was the same doc that did the first surgey and the first surgery was done due to a sliped disk with bone spurs on my C6,C7 and after all the time i was supose to be getting better the pain was getting worse so they did another MRI and showed that the first one was not heald all they way and that my C5,C6 had slip that was worse and bigger than the first one he said he saw it when he did my first surgery but at the time was not bad enough to do anything about. so when he went in to do the 2nd surgey he said that the first one had heald and did not have to do anything with it so he fixed the 2nd one and put a bigger plate in.. So that is where i stand at this point.. Thanks for your info and thoughts Leona

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Hi Mali,
I am an anestheiologist and a chronic neck pain sufferer. I have had two neck fusions and I battle daily pain so I understand what you are feeling. YES pain is REAL! I used to tell my patients in the operating room that "it 's just pressure" when they complained of pain during a local anesthetic cases. BUT I was wrong. It wasn't until I was sentenced with real pain, that I fully understand when someone says they hurt, they mean it,,,,it's not in your head.
There is a lot of prejudice in our medical community against people with chronic pain. They are considered to be "weak" unable to "buckle up and take the pain" Our society makes us feel like we are weak or failures. There needs to be much more awareness in care providers of the realness of PAIN. Unless one has experineced it they won't understand. Furthermore, everyone is different and everyone's perception of pain is different. There is also a tremendous negative conotation for people who resort to taking pain meds to get through the day, they are not "hooked "on pills. It's their way of survival much as in chronic pain sufferer with cancer. Yet we as medical community is very generous and liberal treating those patient's pain and when people without cancer take pain pills, they are made to feel guilty. Sometimes, it is a necessary evil to fight off yet another frightening risky surgery.
Unfortunately, sufferring in pain is a very lonely and personal thing. No one else can feel your pain, not even your doctor, not even those reading this who have their own pain. Words are not adequate to pin point your pain. In fact, even those that love you do not really want to hear about your pain because they cannot help you and they only wish you felt better by some miracle. Often, I can tell by the expression on their face what kind of a day one is having with pain.
I am sure you are doing your best to get through the day, that's the best you can do.
I am sure there aer good day and bad days. Enjoy and savor the good days and on bad days, listen to your body, not the words of those that are judging you, and just take care of your body. Only you know how it feels and what makes it feel better.
Most importantly, do not get discouraged, my doctor told me at least this kins of [ain won't kill you and life must go on so why not make the most you can.
nancy ahn, MD

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Today I am going to get surgery for L2/3, L4/5 and try to clean out whatever is causing me to hurt so much. Hopefully it will be successful because if its not I really don't want to wake up. I'm tired of living with this constant pain and popping pills to be able to walk more that a short block but being unable to think if I use the pills. My wife is a misery to be around because she thinks I just like getting high and has no concept of whats like. If I didn't have a 3 year old son I would end this because I don't want to bear anymore.

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I can totally relate to your pain. I was having sever back pain and went to the doctor she gave me pain meds. Didnt' help so she did a mri to find out I have four deteriorating disk in my lower spine. Scheduled a faccett injection didnt help. month later got pressure point injections didnt help. month later another faccett injection yep didnt help so we have been going back and forth like 4 months till I get hurt at work [pulliing down a pallet. That was november and still no one can find the reason for pain. I cant sit longer than 15-20 min cant stand longer than same, cant bend, lift, pull. twist or do repetitive motions of pulling toward or stuff like that. The pain is so bad I take three tramadal and two vicodent just to take the edge off and a lot of times that doesnt help. But heres the kicker we have all these big wig scientist and no on can solve some back pain. I feel for you good luck and if you hear of a solution or aid to the pain let me know Candi

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2 days out of my surgery and its a misery. 2 Percocets at a time and I can barely walk. I hope it improves.

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Malli its good to hear that you've turned your life around for the better, thank you for starting somthing that can give us releif (mentaly) by sharing our frustrations. It seems that the worse somebody feels the less help they get. Keep driving forward your spirit doesnt die unless you let it and yes they will get theirs.But dont let them get you down.

Lynton

P.s. if you are phisically able look into the eternally matial arts tai chi chuan ,qi gung,tsing yi chuan helps me.Doesnt kill the pain but is relaxing and takes you mind else where for a couple of mins.

Thanks again

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2 months out of my lumbar surgery and it is MUCH better. I am down to 2 or 3 pain meds if that every day and actually feel like living again. If you need a good orthopedic surgeon try Dr. Chabot in Des Peres MO- he knows his business.

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Am replying to the questions about arachnoiditis. My father has advanced arachnoiditis. He was diagnosed about 6 years ago. From the research we did at the time, here's what I know. Arachnoiditis is an inflammation of the arachnoid layer of the meninges ( the meninges is a 3 layered 'tube' which surrounds the spinal fluid) The middle layer is a delicate, web like structure, hence the name arachnoid.
In arachnoiditis, this layer is compromised, can have adhesions or other structural damage. Unless there has been some recent change in the definition of arachnoiditis, it is not caused by epidurals. A considerable number of cases were caused by the chemicals used in myelogram dyes - ( used for spinal diagnosis in the 1970's. Mostly these chemical were removed from use after the danger was realised. However, arachnioditis, also became associated with 'failed back syndromes' generally, as sufferers who had further spinal procedures - especially with lumbar puncture - became increasingly ill. So while epidural was not a cause of my father's arachnoiditis, his symptoms became worse after an epidural used in a non associated surgery. Arachnoiditis suffering can be made worse by further spinal interventions.
And yes arachnoiditis can be detected by MRI but the machine has to be set up differently than for other usage. You would need a be seeing a doctor who was very well acquainted with arachnoiditis to tread this path. And, it's not a very widely understood subject within the med profession. As most of the original sufferer's are now deceased it was hoped, I think, that the problem would go away.
Lastly, it ain't something you want to have to explain your back pain. Dad's doctor's only other arachnoiditis patient died screaming in pain.
I have chronic back pain for the same reasons as many writing here. Spinal stenosis, ddd, osteophytes in horrid locations, bulging discs. Have had prob since teens. My life is much like many of yours - full of broken dreams and often miserable- yep it's tough and the misunderstanding of doctors and other people alike is hard to bear.
Glad i'm not reliant on an insurance co to validate my needs ( my probs just happened without any severe accidents). It has made me feel less alone to read your posts. I think we have a hard lot - so true -you say back pain and people's faces say 'malingerer'. Hard not to hate ourselves for not being able to just "get on with it'. I've had a long and difficult journey with my pain and feeling disbelieved is one of the hardest parts. I so relate to that thought of wishing you could just send your physical experience over to that other person and let them feel what you feel for just a little while. One of the most valuable things I learnt in therapy was to stop expecting that people would understand. Because if they haven't been thru it, they won't. Yeah - I ain't got it perfect, but i'm working on it.. I wish you all a 'good day', or even two.

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Mali,
Just read your 2nd post. Just wanted to add that I have done the Kabat-Zin work also with a teacher in Australia. I came to it as a result of the depression/anxiety that I have dealt with because of my chronic pain. I do at least an hour of mindfullness based practice every day. It doesn't make my pain disappear but it does help me cope, and to be aware of what i'm going thru rather than reacting to it. More power to ya girl for doing this work. Hope it continues to help. If I get well enough one day I'd like to be an advocate for this work being used in pain clinics here in Australia.
It's hard to explain the difference the practice makes. I'm still suffering, but when I adhere to the work, I'm not suffering about my suffering so much. Ciao

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I too suffer from chronic pain. Have for about four years. I recently came off the opiate pain killers and am currently seeing a pain management doctor. I have done all the usual. Physical therapy, surgery, chiropractic care, etc. What I would offer for your consideration is that these drugs are not only highly addictive but potentially fatal. Aren't you sick of them? The doctors, the routine dirty looks when you ask for them...

What I will tell you will immediately be rejected by many but this is for the few who are wanting a honest answer. Medical marijuana can help you. It will however not work like a opiate. It does not block the pain receptors in the brain like opiates do. People have expected similar results and been disappointed. So if that is what you require and nothing less don't waste your time. But how it does handle pain is that your attention is no longer focused on it. You are still uncomfortable but it is now tolerable. The depression and frustration associated with the pain leaves. It does help but like all natural remedies, it is gentle in the process when taken in a reasonable manner. The key is to ingest slowly.

Doctors will often however discount any possible positive effects because they have been trained to do so as we all have. Pain management doctors however can at their discretion perform random drug tests and will. And may kick you out so weigh your risks. Also I would not claim this is a total solution. But it does help for some and is a option.

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so many of these smug people have an attitude all to often bordering on "its all in one's head" . obviously , they've never felt level of your constant pain . until they do , they don't really have a clue . only , maybe mr. bill does ... did , when he was the prez . believe me , i am not making light of your degree of pain . been there , doing that . i hear your frustration . its been 10 years for me of dealing with chronic pain , from 2 surgeries . as yet , i haven't ever yet found two medical opinions that agree
as one . i hope somewhere , somehow , something will really work for you . when you find it ... please
pass it on . we are all interested .

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Arlie, I have heard its all in my head and I tell em its in my spine and if they will lay down I'll get a bat and show them how it feels. But I have a low tolerance for b.s. and when it hurts I'd just as soon they join me than yap at me.

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The pain is not in your head, it is real. I been there done many things & nothing gets rid of the pain so far.
Just had RF done to c5 -c 7 both sides, gave me some relief from original pain, but having horid pain in the neck & surface of the skin & back right side of the head, pain like in shingle type pain nothing can touch the skin it is very painful. They said this will go away I hope so because this was my only hope for pain relief!

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I was healthy,active and fit when my first accident resulted in a broken neck. C7 was removed, then a fall down along flight of steps resulted in a long list of issues. I have fought the good fight. I was brave and worked through extensive pain by painting, hauling, refurbishing apartments for our small business.I couldn't complain because nobody wants to hear how bad you feel. Now after years of suffering I'm just getting sick constantly. My breathing has changed and when I take the large dosage of Gabbapentin, I look like I'm on an acid trip. The sad thing is I'm being judged by uninformed, misguided do gooders who think I am just putting on. I would do anything to have my life back. Then these Doctors who think they are being responsible just keep giving me hydrocodone even though I tell them it doesn't work and makes me sick to my stomach. I have asked for different longer acting pain medication and I get this blank face look. One guy said you need pain management then another said he didn't want to give me anything till they knew if anything was broken! How does that work? Just left me lying on my back for 5days in complete agonizing pain. When lab tech called NOT the doctor was told more test needed to be done. That was two months ago! Just this week on the 2nd will I finally see the neurosurgeon. I have not been able to work. My savings is gone and still my pain has been ignored. I have never been in this constant, every day, all day constant pain in my life. God help me to not give up because it's getting harder and harder to deal with the stress of everyday life. Pain medication shouldn't be withheld from those of us who desperately need it. I could enjoy a little bit of my days if I could get a repree from the nightmare of burning, splitting headaches and both shoulders feel like they have been ripped off. There is no comfortable position. I can't even sleep more than 3to 4 hours. I am hopeful this appointment with neurosurgeon will finally get me the medical attention I've needed since October 14th.
THANKS to the other members on this sit, I finally feel understood. It was helpful to know that I had a venue to release all this frustration.It can ruin your world and turn you into your worst fears! I didn't do anything wrong, the city bus ran into me but it's crushed my independence. I can't function till something changes.

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