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Sorry..need to vent.. Chronic Pain sufferers I'm sure You can relate!

Started by Malli on 06/15/2010 2:39pm

So.....I have chronic pain.

I am not faking or trying to abuse the system or trying to get drugs. I have pain...real pain.

I'm 44 yrs old and prior to a motor vehicle accident 8 yrs ago I was a fitness consultant, exercised every day, was perfectly strong and fit, (did not smoke, use drugs, had the odd glass of wine), not a pain in the world.

Now...I have intermittent pain shooting down my arms and severe headaches in the back of my head that radiate to my forehead, and a constant burning, twisting the nerves kind of feeling in the back of my head and neck. Sometimes it feels like I have a strap running over the top of my head ear to ear.

I was sent for an MRI, the results came back as: Advanced DDD with moderate central canal stenosis with a dessicated L4-L5, L5- S1. I also have had a lot of problems with my neck over the years. My most recent MRI revealed the following: Degenerative changes of the ADI are evident, straightening of lordosis. Dessication of C3-C4 intevertebral disc. Annular bulging and broad based posterior disc protrusion of the C3-C4 disc with posterolateral marginal osteophyte demonstrated. Bulging of C4-C5, C5-C6, C6-C7 intevertebral discs identified There is facet and uncovertebral joint hypertrophy at multiple levels and osseous encroachment on multiple neural foramina bilaterally as described. Prominent neural foraminal encroachment upon C3-C7 bilaterally.

On another post I asked: My questions are how is it possible for someone so young, who was so fit, to have so much degeneration?

and the reply was: From the research that I have done and stories I've read from others, the only commonality is that we are very active, hard working people that just hit an unlucky patch in life. The prognosis: you will most likely not be able to do work that you did previously - no lifting over 20 pounds, no repetitive type jobs (including secretarial or administrative work unless you can find a job that allows you to take frequent breaks), and no high impact excercise.

I'm currently in a rehab program that my long term disability insurance provider is sending me to. According to them I am fit to work and to return to my previous type of employment which is secretarial work, and get this I used to clean the offices (vacuum, clean 4 flights of stairs, etc) at the same law firm for extra $$$ and the insurance company says I can return to that as well but modified duties. My physiotherapist says my pain is all in my head and that my negative thoughts are creating my pain so I have to change my thought if I think more positively my pain will go away. He gave me a form to fill out daily describing a time when I had a significant pain experience, what I had to stop doing because of it, write down my negative thoughts; what I was thinking, what I did about it and what I could have done differently.

So it goes like this,
pain exp: sitting at the computer trying to post a msg, my neck is on fire, there is a corkscrew in the back of my head twisting, grinding the nerves, my head feels like it's going to explode, eyes hurt, feels like someone poured sand in my eyes, my latest Botox injections (for neck pain and migraines) were put in to low and I have a hard time opening my eyes because my forehead is paralyzed and no matter how hard I try I can't raise my eyebrows to take the weight off my eyeballs, my back feels like it's going to break, my leg is numb...I have to type this out as fast as I can so I can go lay down.

What I did: stopped typing, got up from sitting tried to stretch, cried, went to lay down.

My thoughts: the pain I don't think about it, it's just there, it is what it is. I want to lay down to get this pressure off my neck. Writing this down is frikin stupid (well this is negative..but seriously), I do not have negative thoughts about the pain. I try to deal with the pain by not thinking about it...this is making me think about it...I am not going to write down negative thoughts because that is what you (the therapist) says I have and want to read.

Sure sometimes I feel sorry for myself, I think it is completely normal, for all of us suffer in pain every day, and lost a part of ourselves, the healthy active pain free part, and for some of us a lot of other things that go with chronic pain, divorce, financial issues, sexual health problems, etc.. to feel sorry for ourselves once in a while. It doesn't mean I dwell on it.

So you, Mr. Know It All physiotherapist who says he is there to help me (and doesn't just work for the insurance company...ha... and provide them with the result that they want, double ha), and without even having my MRI's goes ahead and designs my strengthening/rehab program without even knowing what is wrong with me tell me that I'm in pain because I'm just weak and not trying and my pain is in my head....well F*%^ You....

Seriously..are you kidding me. Let's give you a spinal problem. You try being in pain from the moment you wake in the morning and get out of bed (if you can even get out of bed), until you go to bed at night, all day every day.

You try to deal with it day in and day out and after you go through it.... then, and only then, you can tell me my pain is all in my head!

What I have done for the pain so far: I have tried physio, acupuncture, acupressure, traction, nerve block injection c-spine, cortisone inj L-spine, IMS, Biofeedback, relaxation training, meditation, muscle relaxants, antidepressants, narcotic pain killers (helps), Botox( this one works) to name a few, most have not helped, it is a reality, and I still have pain.

So when my physiotherapist asks me, what I could have done differently excuse me if I find this question ridiculous to the Nth degree.

What I could have done differently: I don't know????

Get away from you.
Chop my head off
Get away from you
Botox my whole body
Get away from you!
Or...
How about this ....Treat me like a human being...Have some compassion....
and the kicker......Be innocent until proven guilty!

Thanks for listening...I'm going to go run around the block now!

Mali

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I feel you, I recently started having bad pains when moving my head to the left, to the front, severe headaches, ear ache, hissing in my ears, pain behind my left eye and it also feels like my head is being squeezed in a vise. I have shoulder pains and have this terrible feeling inside. Well, I have been to the ER several times and they throw me out saying everthing is normal. I had an XRAY of m cervical spine last week along with a XRAY of my left shoulder in which I have 2 titanium screws in. I also have a degenerative disc disease L4-L5 and an evident buldging disc on top of my neck that the doctor didn't even look at or feel. I called about my XRAYS today and the Dr. once again said everything was normal. How can they be normal if there are 2 screws in my shoulder and I am in so much pain. I am already on SSI Disability and receive Medicare so there is no one to fool if I was trying to because I already went in front of a Federal Judge & their attorney which testified that there was no type of work I could possibly do due to my medical condition. My advice to you is to see an SSI attorney which with your condition have you put on permanent disability. It might take a couple of years but you will be glad you did once it is over. Good luck and my best wishes to you.

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I hear you. I used to lift of 200 pounds. I am a young woman and took pride that I have so much strength and could capable as a man. I work in a male dominated job. I took pride in my appearance. I can't lift as much because of my injury. I am depressed because I was working with another co worker and he did not support me like he should of and as a result I got I juried. I wonder if he did this to me on purpose. In any event, the less you stress about something, the less pain you will have. It is not your fault you got injured, so do the best you can. People are here to support you.

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I just thought I say I under stand the new Dr's of to day seem to think there God, and yet they only go with what a test show but test don't show everything, I have had to retire I can't jump in a truck and drive alday any more . I have had 5 surgery's on my spine lower back 3 and 2 in my neck, no more I hurt everyday , I just disided some Dr's are ass holes and have know idea just remember its not you God bless you hope you can find some relief.

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I know exactly how you feel. I sometimes feel because I don't look sick people don't believe anything is wrong with me. I too am one of those that is trying to live with pain due to cervical spinal stenosis. C4-C7 Mine started just over ten years ago when a truck drive ran a red light and took off the whole front of the car I was driving. It is a down hill slide from there. I am two surgeries later, finding out the second was not done correctly, now had a neurologist and two neuro-surgeons tell me that surgery is not an option, it would most likely create pain due to the surgery. They would have to go through the back this time, and that means cutting through muscle. Not advised, by four doctors.
I get so frustrated, (to make a long story short, slipped restarted the pain, applied for SSD, fell hard on the ice, now really suffering).
I try so hard to get up and do things, especially when I feel good while laying down. I do until I hurt, then it is too late, then I am down again. I cry and have a pitty party. I am waiting for my doctor to try radio frequency ablation on my left side, as it did not work on the right, he is hoping for some pain relief this way. When I found it it was not working, yep, I cried.
My son has been wonderful through this, but I can tell even he is getting tired of the hoops and time, it takes to get through this whole process. I just need something coming in so we can get a house where he has his living space and I have mine.
I know a lot of people have the same or very similar stories, but so often it is easy to feel alone in this.

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I understand the need to vent, and even if the pain was "in your head" which I seriously doubt. IT IS STILL PAIN. I have been lied to about my condition after a cevical fusion of the C567 verts...I have a crooked, broken screw and didn't know for ten years. I am treated for drug addiction and not for my condition or the pain I have

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AMEN!!! I am also tired of these quacks, I mean Drs. telling me deal with it. I would gladly trade places with them for a week.

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I totally understand you. I am sitting here in horrible pain in my upper neck/back... pain in both shoulders and arms. I now am also dealing with arthritis in my shoulders... along with the nerve pain coming from my cervical neck area. I can not lay down, I hardly sleep. I feel so hopeless.

I already have had two knee replacements and one hip replacement just over the last two years from osteoarthritis. I have always taken care of myself.... and continue to eat well, take supplements and exercise on my inside bike. But, now I can no longer do any upper body exercise due to the pain, So I continue to get so weak in my arms I can hardly hold a cup anymore without crying.

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Yes, Mali, I too can relate.
I'm a 46 yr. old female, just recently diagnosed with severe foraminal stenosis at the C5-6 level, in addition to having previously been diagnosed with lumbar disk degeneration, spinal osteoarthritis, and scoliosis. For the past two months, I've been unable to turn my neck past a certain level, and have excruciating back of the neck headaches, apart from my normal migraines, shoulder pain, and also debilitating low back pain, that affects my right buttock and thigh, and persistent numbness and tingling of my right foot. My sleep is frequently interrupted, and am unable to work or partake in any social activities.

Like you, I used to be extremely active. Went to doc. this morning, and rather doing anything to investigate any lumbar problems, I was told to just exercise and take Tylenol, ignoring my recent cervical MRI, with no further investigation. I'm so mad, I'm spitting explanatives. I too feel disregarded.

I'm not sure how to proceed. I shouldn't have to accept this as a way of "life."

jpoul

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Hi. I signed up just to respond to you. I was researching and ran across your post. How are you now? Have you heard of Arachnoiditis? I can tell you more. I've researched for years. I was Dx several years ago. Respond if you want to know.

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Hi Mali, sometimes one just has to get it off their chest. It's hard when on the outside there's nothing that screams "I hurt"! This is the first time I've responded on a chat but I feel your pain, literally. After a decade plus of escalating pain and unsuccessful conservative treatment (anything you could think of), I broke down and had multiple level cervical fusion. It wasn't successful and my neck is now structurally worse than prior. The specialists I've consulted with post surgery have all said there's no correction and the pain and spasms are likely for life. Medications only help to a certain point and with the stringent DEA criteria around non-malignant pain, many of us that have been treated for years with pain medication are already at the recommended dosage. It's a scary thought when this is the only management left. BUT, I've recently been following a woman Sue Falkner-Wood who blogs weekly regarding living with chronic pain and illness. She, and her followers, are positive and support finding what beauty you can in life. I'm 90% home bound and she's really helped me; far more than any counselor regarding pain and depression. Her blog is "weeklydoseofsue" and she's great. I wish you the best.

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Hi Mali:

Don't want to hurt your feelings but I suffer from so much chronic pain I couldn't even get through reading your entire post! LOL! I am trying to keep my spirits high. That's why I have never seen any of these head doctors, they are trained and paid to tell you it's all in your head! Bullshit! I am 51 years old. I was involved in a first car accident at 17 but had a long life of body building, speed walking, vitamin therapy and became a chef and registered dietician. Unfortunately, in 1994 at 30 years old, I was hit again by a drunk driver who broke my neck and my life has never been the same! I had a C1-C2 neck fusion surgery. At th time I was told my bones were healthy as a twelve year old with no arthritis etc. within 1 year I had discogenic disk disease and spurs that labeled my spine looking like that of a a 90 year old woman! AND that is what the doctors told me. So these shrinks that tell you it's all n your head- don't pay them any mind. I have not been able to wear a pair of jeans since the pins were put in C1-C2. It feels like my head is going to blow up! Now at 51 I can barely walk! The 20 years of stress that the pins have put at this top level have completely corrupted the rest of my neck. I am awaiting a C2-T2 fusion! Just got a third opinion! then I may or may not need a lumbar surgery, depending on if any back pain is alleviated by the neck surgery and then a hip replacement due to problems occurring from that car accident When I was 17. So honey I. Can relate. When I saw how many people responded to your posted I wondered why. Anyway, don't let these doctors insult ya. I always try to make people realize that these are the same so called educated pricks that have gotten half of the world addicted to narcotics all out of their GREED! I don't know how it is where you are but if you go to the hospital emergency room, tell them you have the flu, NEVER ASK OR MENTION PAIN MEDS, but they see them in your records , that's the first thing they yell at you, " we aren't giving you anything for pain!" Just want to punch them in the face!
So honey I could certainly relate to your post and frustration! Hang in there! It doesn't seem like anything is going change very soon! Sheiba

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I have neural forminial narrowing from C-2-C-6 plus T-1-C-7 has a subluxation.
Together, they are driving me insane and I am sick of the CT scan coming back, "go kill yourself", while my primary care doctor say; "there really is nothing they can do for this". Seriously?
I already have an anterior cervical fusion on C-2-C-6.
I see an osteopath regularly. He keeps me from killing myself, but he does not take insurance, so its hard to keep paying out of pocket for him.
The whole healthcare world is just worthless. Once you are in your 50's, NOBODY cares, and we are not longer worth anything. NOBODY wants to prescribe anything anymore.
I am waiting for my primary care doctor to write me a prescription for a bottle of whiskey and a revolver.
I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! I am worn out from trying to do whatever I can to distract myself.
The neurosurgeon that did my 4 LEVEL CERVICAL FUSION, has NOT called back, now that my insurance is MEDICARE.
GEE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Whatever happens next is on you!
I cannot FAKE A CT SCAN and a DISLOCATION HURTS LIKE HELL, FYI.
It pops out of place only 3-4 x's a day....now I am my own osteopath.
I wish I never DC'd the KADIAN. It worked well with ZERO side effects.
I also forgot that NOBODY RESPONDS ON THIS FORUM.
Screaming to an empty room.
GOODBYE~

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Mali:
I am with you completely on your feelings towards your physiotherapist. I was on the Global Patient Site and the beginnings of this site more than 10 years ago and boy, do I have a saga. I will write about it when I can but for now, I understand your intense feelings so very well. You are not alone and you are very believable and real. I believe your pain. More later.
Sincerely,
Alison

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Hi I am knew here and hoping not to be a bother,
Although it means a lot talking to people who have been down this road like us!!!!
I know this may sound a little crazy but the amount of pain I live almost 24/7 is killing me, just the anger build up inside
It's almost like hurting so bad, is destroying everything
My thoughts so hard to explain...
After 6 back surgeries and feeling this way I can't explain
The stress I've out on my husband family kids, just can't explain
Is it normal these things I'm dealing with?

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I had a 3 level cervical adr surgery 13 years ago. It has worked well for me. I also work with a chiropractor who adjusts me periodically which also helps tremendously. I teach fitness, rehab and dance and am 55. Thought this info might help you.

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Hi, I totally understand what you're going through. I used to be a runner and very athletic. when I was 49 yrs old I moved into a three story home and after living there for about two months, my knees started swelling up like the size of cantaloupes and I was in severe pain when going up and down the stairs. I went to a sports medicine Dr. and after looking at my x rays, he said both of your knees are bone on bone and you most likely wore them down from running. He said I would more than likely need knee replacements, but first tried the gel shots in my knees to replace the cartilage that was no longer there. I too worked for a law firm and would go and get these shots on my lunch hour. I was in excruciating nerve pain in both knees to begin with and these shots were very painful. The last time I had the shots I stood up to go back to my office and passed out from the pain.

I had my first knee replacement after that and it's a brutal surgery. When I woke up after the surgery I felt like my leg had been cut off because that's basically what they do . After I had the surgery even though they give you Vicodin, opioids and several other medications, the pain kept getting worse over a period of months. I took long term disability at my firm because I literally couldn't walk. I went and had another Orthopedic Dr. look at my left knee and he said the knee replacement was too big and it was pressing on my soft tissue and nerves. I let him do my right knee replacement. I was experiencing so much nerve pain n both knees that I was having anxiety attacks and constantly trembling. I told my Orthopedic Dr. about he constant shooting nerve pain and he sent me to a neurologist who ran test and told me I had nerve damage in both knees. I said "well how long is it going to last or when's it going away?" His response was "it could be anywhere from 5 years or you may have it the rest of your life" '.

When I returned home I kept thinking how could this happen to me. I'm too young for this and was so athletic just as you did, so I get it.

I called work and told them I couldn't return and that I wanted a copy of there long term disability policy. It is your right as an employee to get a copy of it. I just had to be a little tough with them and wouldn't back down. I worked for a Corporate law firm and our main office was in another city, so I didn't really have to deal with them face to face.

I feel really bad for you because nerve pain is the worst pain in the world. Is your long term disability through the company you work for? They are not the ones who have the right to send you to physical therapy and tell you what you are and aren't able to do. I would go to your Dr. who did the MRI or whoever has your test results and ask him write you a prescription for physical therapy and let him know what's going on. It's between you and your Dr. and eventually a judge if you have to end up getting on permanent disability. The long term disability that I was on tried the same crap. They sent me to one of their Dr.'s to examine me. I had been living in chronic pain for months and had to use a walker, etc. The minute he walked in the room he was so disrespectful and rude. He started bending my knees and I said stop I can't do that! Tears were rolling down my face, but he didn't care. He treated me like I was faking it, almost like the guy telling you that you're able to go back to work and lift things. They just don't want to have to pay the money. I guess they do get a some people who are able to go back to work, but don't want to. That's not what's happening in your case nor was it in mine. Anyway, the minute I got home I called the disability company and told them how abusive their Dr. was to me. The disability company is responsible for getting you one of their lawyers so you can go to court and file for S.S. Disability, once you get to that point. When I went before the judge, he had a pile of documents from my Doctors sitting in front of him and he looked at my work record and saw that I was at one law firm for almost 15 years and had consistently held a job for long periods at a time. He had a man sitting to his left, an occupational therapist who was there to help advise the Judge if I was able to hold the type job that I was at. The Judge read from my Dr.'s records and told the man that I couldn't bend my knees when I sat down and that I couldn't lift more than a few pounds because any kind of weight would flare my knees up. He asked the man if I would be able to hold the same type job that I was at and the man said I'm afraid she's not going to be able to hold any type job. So, he granted me S.S. disability on the spot. I also get long term from my old job until I turn 63.

It's not worth the unbearable, constant chronic nerve pain that I live with everyday. So, I was able to relate to your story when I read it and had to respond to it. I still to this day do through many ups and downs. My pain continued to get worse where I could barley walk. My daughter said we need to have you reevaluated. So we went to a new Orthopedic Dr. and he suggested I have a bone scan and recommended a Neurologist. After all of the testing, I was diagnosed with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome which was more than likely caused by the surgeries. It's not curable and there's really nothing that helps the pain. I've tried the Sympathetic Nerve Blocks twice and they didn't work. The Dr.'s told me it's one of the most painful diseases there is. It actually feels like someone poured gas on my legs, set them on fire and then ran over them with a Mac truck.

I wish you all the best and am so sorry for your pain. Don't let hose insurance guys run all over you. I'd tell that therapist to shove it!

Question: Did you Ins. company refer you to their physiotherapist? In any case, I would not go back to someone who's not a Dr. and has no compassion for their patients. Plus insults you when you're in so much pain.

I know you didn't ask for advise, but I had to respond because I live in horrible pain everyday and have been through some of the things you're going through. We someone is in constant pain it's a thousand times worse when we are treated badly. I would tell the physiotherapist that you're going to find someone else who's more professional and doesn't insult her patients, much less misdiagnoses them. I would do the same with the ins. dude. Take charge and tell him under your Dr.'s advise he wants you to go to someone he recommends for your p.t. If you don't have a Dr. and just went and had the MRI maybe you should find a specialist and he'll be more compassionate and will let the ins. co. know what you can and can't do. Sorry I'm so passionate about this, it's just not right for you to be treated like this with all the severe injuries you have.

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Don't even apologize- if it was not for support from a friend who had been living w/ chronic pain most of her life due to extreme spinal fusions to correct scoliosis, this was back in the '60's, I would feel like a nut. I do not have anyone except a person or 2 who also share some of their symptoms, and yes they ARE real- so typical that someone paid , no matter by whom, to help you turns out as many do to be a traitor- for any intelligent person working with victims of an injury or like me, a degenerative disc disorder, should be trained, compassionate, and well, what can I say? I have been through a few doors, and left right back out immediately through a couple, since I discovered my condition. It IS REAL PAIN! We know! And if we have real pain, we deserve not to suffer at the very least. No one can be addicted to pain pills if it is for PAIN. Dependent by your body's programming maybe, but no not addiction. I am really tired of it all. Now I do have some tips, and I do believe that we should share information if it is vital or helpful to another. I knew nothing about it 'til after all my totally great life full of exercise, fast-walking, swimming in oceans, flying on airplanes for 24 hours, fun days of dancing, teaching aerobics, down- hill skiing, and carrying my 2 sons around at any age if need be--- til along came a terrible pain that would not go away, in my back, the Lumbar Spine - my first MRI, revealing God Know's what caused it, a fractured vertebrae and herniated disc. It was all there, an MRI showing my spine's future, w/ talk w/ a very intelligent neurosurgeon first round, recommending the smartest thing possible, not to ever do surgery unless absolutely have to, but no- first, know that surgeons never prescribe pain meds... he did no prescribing for pain and even after surgery- he recommended people to other resources. Still he is the best of the best M. D.'s I talked to, a straight shooter, who explained it was DDD. I was so shocked to also learn, I could easily blow another one even just walking off of a sidewalk the wrong way. I was not the kind to go around like walking on eggshells, had two young sons, horses, dogs and cats, and a patient husband who now after so many years has found his purpose in life among other things is that he never goes a morning without bringing coffee to me in bed while I am warming up my back on a heating pad- he is a gem. He is also an advocate, going with me to doctors, as he will talk if I think it's appropriate because he is great at it, he knows me well,and also people often tend to listen to his stories more-so than mine. I have been through some real a-- holes for Dr.s, who say, "Wow you look great!" like, i. e. you don't look sick, and no- I will not give you medications if you want them! ". What has happened to this society, where we have resources in this country, more doctors and hospitals, stocked with proper medicine to keep one from feeling intense- acute, and/or on-going pain?? Their oath says, first do no harm. Enough said. I am also a yogi and I meditate, I turn all over to my God each morning, asking for guidance and support as I go about my day and know that my Angels are also there, always, 2 for each of us!, as I move along the time planned out. I feel pain always. I have immediate and acute pain when my back "acts up", and know how to help it by reaching out to my familiar tool box of going inward, finding peace and strength, plus if it's not bad like a new type of location, it depends on what feels best it could be call a massage therapist who knows my back and how to relax the spasms; I love to find the yoga class I need and am surrounded by that spirit, and OM, and myself on a mat, where I can move safely, knowing how to accommodate that painful cause if need be. But it is a big part of my life. Has been for 17 years. I now am almost certified to teach, as I trained at my local yoga center where I found the answer to the calling I had one day after asking and waiting. I had not done that before! So with this kind of path healing came along, with empathetic souls that did believe pain is real, we simply call it perhaps "my back has issues"- so it's all positive, though everyone recognizes it and there is no judgement in yoga practice. Actually there are many new students and yogis of all sorts with a wide variety of injuries, conditions be it high blood pressure, pregnancy which is a good condition!, or post-surgery patient in for P. T., or like myself with my back and spinal "issues" knowing that my instructor may be the one I know as a friend and teacher , who has to spend 2 months in bed at times because of her spine. Another is very athletic, and has knee issues. We all see the same lovely P. T. who also is a yoga instructor, and a teacher of teachers-to-be. My P. T. consisted of a gradual progressive work-up to a practice that was very slow, intentional, with knees bent beyond imagination while moving into a Down Dog....and she recorded it for me on my iPhone so that I could see it live on my computer! I love her. Pain management is such a pain. Though I am learning and know better, we need to say things aloud and share support for the treatment or lack there of, when we go to a Pain Clinic! They are the ones who are held accountable if a patient almost dies as he/she overdoses on medications they took incorrectly! Look at our country, we are always being counted, watched, even made to feel badly if we need an "Opiad", the real name when they are referred to as Opiates or street drugs - this, we who feel pain leaving us sleepless, or frozen in a position we cannot move from--- is what they are discovered and created for, and if taken as directed for chronic, never going away pain, so be it! Let us have our lives back, so we may take a trip, lift a 10 pound bag without having to ask for help, but letting others carry the heavy stuff! At least we can go through the motions of a "normal" day, run laundry, pick up children, or pets- be in service to others through volunteering at a food bank, or walk a beach searching out turtle nests- if we can walk. There is a wide variety of ways to help others, and it my friends, service- is the key to finding a way to live with pain as it is like a love-cure. Try it, blow away from the medical person who is paid to help/serve you and try, one more time, to find that right one who believes in you, sees you, and without judgment. Namaste'

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Hello, Mali (and everyone else)--

Thank you all for sharing your stories about chronic pain. We know how frustrating it can be when people don't understand the pain you deal with each day, and we are pleased that this Community has brought together people who truly relate to one another.

We'd like to chime in with a new resource that we think you'll all be interested in. Our sister site, Practical Pain Management, released the Smart Patient's Guide to Chronic Pain Management : https://www.practicalpainmanagement.com/...

We hope the information found in this guide will help you on your journey with chronic pain. We look forward to reading your stories, and we wish you all the very best.

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Also 44 years old, have similar back issues that you do. Had a discectomy on C5 C^ and C6 now C7n and thoracic discs are giving me trouble but most of the discs are bulging or herniated throughout my back. I was very athletic as well, was a competitive skier and had a really bad fall off a balcony in my twenties. It took nearly 15 years of going to doctors and they dismissed me and treated me like garbage, said the same stuff. Your juts drug seeking, its all in your head, take tylenol, its just arthritis everyone has aches and pains. Until I was in an emergency room 4 hrs from my home medical clinic because they had sent me away with my right arm completely paralyzed and apparently I was just faking that to look for drugs! Completely insane. The doctor in this ER that saw me finally ordered an MRI even though id had been asking for one for years, as soon as it came back he said i need surgery like now. I was going to lose the use of my right arm forever without it. I had surgery a few months later, I may need another one as well cause my whole back is a mess, but the surgery really helped me. I told the doctors off in the clinic in my town because I worked there, they were so apologetic it was ridiculous. I said to them if I was looking for drugs you guys would be the last place i would come to you can buy whatever you want off the street. They pushed so much different medications on me, anti siezure, anti depressants even a cancer drug but never anything for the pain.
I completely understand how you feel I worked throughout all of it, I have to its not like I have a insurance settlement from the accident. It makes you feel like absolute shit the way they treat you though, its infuriating. They told me I can do all the things I used to but I cant. I had all the same symptoms as you and still have some, I'm booked to see a neurosurgeon soon.
I was very much like you not a smoker not a drinker, never used drugs, but they looked at me like I was some kind of junky every time I would go in there.
I use edible pot treats now, that somewhat help. They still are very stingy with giving out anything for pain but I am a little more forceful with them now, if I need something I need it, after all isn't that what pain medications are designed for.
I had very physical jobs, now I do secretarial work , if you pursue surgery you may be able to return to work you were doing before. But the whole thing is very depressing, I am a pretty upbeat person in general but I get really down in the dumps when I am in a lot of pain. And its sad I cant Ski like I used to, or snowmobile.
Also a physiotherapy I had really great results form was acupuncture dry needling, it would hurt alot while they are doing it because the needles go deep into the muscle and nerve tissues but afterwards its like it resets the neural pain pathways and sometimes I would be pain free for 2 weeks.
Ive been dealing with this for 20 years, in my younger years I was very bitter about it but I have accepted it now,
Hopefully you find some relief best wishes to youo I know how it feels

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Hi, I can relate to exactly what you have been through and I am very sorry that you suffer so much. I suffer in silence everyday as much as I don’t want to be in incredible pain every waking hour of every day I am. It is in your head, your BRAIN tells you that you have pain, your Physiotherapist should know that. I pray for a magic pill but I know in reality there isn’t one. I am fused from C 4-5 thru C 7-8 - T 1-2. I know chronic pain well! I also have a broken titanium plate with 10 screws and it’s broken where I am not fused at the C 5-6 level which was fused twice. I have swelling, burning, stabbing pressure down my T Spine, believe me, I know. The doctor is sending me for updated CT Scans and Nerve Impulse Test. The doctor also changed my meds. Nothing seems to help me. The pain is there weather I think about it or not.

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Go see Dr Michels in Dallas Tx. He is sincere and will help you.

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Mali I feel your pain and frustration . My spinal pain started about 14 yrs ago out of the blue. After a 2nd. spinal injection my pain was better. Then it came back but could be tolerated until 3 yrs. ago. Need I say 3 yrs ago I built up a tolerance to Dilaudid. 18 mo. ago I had a 3 level spinal fusion that did nothing. Actually thought I didn't think my pain could get much worse it did a great deal. We never know how much we can take until we are forced to. I got lucky 4 mo. ago when my cardiologist suggested a Ortho surgeon who is knowledgably and compassionate. In 3 days after he reviews my new CT I'll learn if I'll need another surgery. Hang in there Mali!

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I like you suffered from chronic pain for twenty years . In 2020 I researched what is pain? Well pain is directly related to inflammation. So no inflammation no pain make sense. So don't eat anything that causes inflammation, eat healthy anti-inflamitory anti-oxident foods and 80 % of your pain should disappear? There are other factors but generally this will help. And if you have been taking alot of meds chances are your gut bacteria is severely deficient. So Bio-k is an excellent way to replace it quickly as each little bottle contains 50 billion bacteria. I in the last three months have consumed approx. 2 trillion bacteria. So a large spinach salad for example takes 24 to 36 hours to travel through my intestine. Without good gut flora it doesn't matter how good you eat if your body can't absorb the nutrients. I have started my own post and will keep you posted on my research. Hope this helps? AAandDDD

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